The Definitively Semi-Complete Review
As experienced by the home educated
Part 1 : Introduction
At some point in every new (or old) family’s life, the question of child enrichment arises. Many parents recognise the harms of the public secular schooling system on Islamic child development, and so, casting around for ideas of a richer alternative, they arrive on the mysterious yet enticing shores of the land called “Home Education”. However, upon attempting to take their first steps into this promising paradigm, many get lost in the vastness of options and the sparseness of informed guidance and are unable to progress.
This piece is meant to serve as an initial introduction to the field for those lost families or parents-to-be. Having come through the system myself, I will insha’Allah attempt to convey my own experiences in relation to the points I discuss in order to ground and make them understandable to you.
Let’s clear some things up quickly
Who Are You Again?
I was homeschooled for around 7 years. I was taken out of primary school in year 3ish and was homeschooled until year 7 by which time my parents had hoped I was fixed, but fortunately I wasn’t, and so I was out again by the end of the first term in year 8. I was then homeschooled until year 12 where I, with gritted teeth, instantaneously dissolved into the A-Level student population.
I’m currently 20 years old, and in my third year of uni, if you wanted to know.
Sounds Illegal
I’ve Heard You’re All Socially Inept
We’re not. Well, at least I don’t think I’m not… I thought I was doing so well…
When people first find out I was homeschooled, the comment I’m always expecting to hear is something along the lines of “I’ve heard home education can make it difficult for children to develop socially”. If they don’t ask, I say it, just to be painfully direct, cos that’s fun.
Now this comment is frankly very fair. If you were to line up ten random kids who had been stuck at home for their entire lives, I would probably expect that ten of them wouldn’t be able to maintain a two-minute conversation with you without trying to shrink into the woodwork or the nearest book. That’s to be expected.
What that isn’t, however, is a good implementation of home education, and it is not what I mean when I use the term. So lets quickly run through some manifestations we see today
Part 2 : Choose Your Poison
The breadth of this topic can seriously confuse wide-eyed newly-weds who are valiantly trying to plan their childs educational journey, but get lost in the mist of all these seemingly independent families doing their own thing. There is no set model or instruction booklet, so attempting to enter the topic can sometimes feel like stepping into a minefield.
After living within this lifestyle for much of my life, I will try and break down for you what the major methods are so that you can line up your expectations or preconceived notions with them, and then decide whether they align with your world view.
Home education in its broadest sense is really what you make it. That’s the key to this. There’s no “Grammar” or “State” home education standard; there’s only what you choose to do. All following models require substantial thought to break down and implement in YOUR context. But remember, your child will only get as much out as you put in.
The first method I will broadly categorise as The Enrichment Model. This model is really the true form of home education, the ideal that should be worked towards. At the core of the enrichment model is the realisation that a child develops through experience and community, and that the modern-day schooling system fails to deliver a wholesome and complete experience to fulfil this need.
This model was what I experienced Alhamdulillaah through the valiant efforts of my parents and the Aunties in East London when I was between 9–15 years of age. Community is of the absolute essence. The maxim is it takes a village to raise a child, and this is implementing that in the literal sense. On the curricular side, group classes are organised for the subjects with resources pooled by bringing in qualified teachers or utilising talent amongst the parents. However, that by no means removes the parents from the equation; on the contrary their teaching or encouragement to self-teach was one of the most important forces in this equation.
On the extracurricular side, parents take the initiative to organise exciting opportunities that wouldn’t be available to the average schooly, such as bringing in talent to run workshops or events as well as taking the kids out to activities that are also group organised.
It will probably be easier to illustrate this to you with examples rather than trying to explain the concept abstractly, so I will do that now. On the curricular side of things, before GCSE age, there used to be a physics professor who would come and give us classes in the community centre. We would work on the CREST Award by rotating between different Aunties houses and covering STEM topics with them weekly. After GCSE age, we would have online classes together for English, Physics, and Maths, and I independently studied for Environmental Management, Economics, and Biology. We would use traditional methods such as textbooks, workbooks, YouTube, khan academy, my mum and dad giving classes on the whiteboard, but then supplement them with novel approaches, such as the aforementioned CREST Award which built our practical STEM skills, workshops at The Science Museum, a visit to the Globe Theatre for learning about Shakespeare, etc.
On the extracurricular side, I will have to abridge this as I’ve lost count of the number of things the community did SubhaanAllah. There was an architect who came and did a workshop on building structures with bamboo sticks. There was a Lego Mindstorms weekly class to learn robotics. There was a lambda course and a yearly sports day. On the sports side, we had weekly sessions of horse riding, ice skating, parkour, kayaking, BMX, Brazilian Ju Jitsu, and climbing. We did a week’s course at an Arts College to get a Bronze Arts Award. You get the point.
What I would like to draw your attention to here is that almost everything I’ve mentioned was organised by a group of parents from the community for a group of us children. The same kids would do many things together, sometimes split due to geography if one set of activities was in Lea Valley or another in Ilford, etc, but it remained a tight community. The Aunties would chill during the sessions, we had a community centre that was always full of people doing and running different things. My parents were active, looking for new things, engaged. I believe that this is the ideal.
A step below this is what I would classify as The Meerkat Model. This model was more prevalent when I moved to Wycombe from London and interacted with the homeschoolers there. It is more isolationist than the ideal model, but still tries to reach out and organise, while maintaining a good standard of hard education. The opportunities for unique experiences may not have been all there, but effort is made to find the ones that exist, such as water sports that I experienced. Education is left more to individuals, although there may be some online group classes.
The lowest level is called The Monk Model. This is where parents become terrified of the outside world and communities and resort to cocooning their children inside the house. Education is purely online or self-taught and there is no effort to reach out and network with other like-minded parents and build a community to group-run activities.
Having said all that, you would be excused from thinking that if you achieve number one, your child will become the well-rounded, confident, articulate, dashing, courageous, dazzling specimen you had always prayed they would be. Not the case, unfortunately. I know of people in Model Number Two who have achieved far more than me in terms of character, deen and dunya due to other factors that influenced them.
As I said, home education is what you make of it.
Part 3 : So Much Effort...
Yeah, I get it’s a lot. But you wouldn’t be reading his if you didn’t want the best for that little tyke who’s just vomited on the floor, quick get the tissues!
But why do people go through all this effort and why should you seriously consider it? The reason many people would give if you asked them is simple: The current schooling system simply does not develop the children in a wholesome manner.
Aside from the obvious rainbow colours that are creeping through schools like a plague, the nefarious culture that kids are exposed to in that environment is just simply damaging. One kids older brother showed him something inappropriate, now he’s showing your son without you even knowing about it. Or just the unsavoury unislamic company that’s to be found there. Islamic ethics, manners, character, and mindset are alien to the secular structure and a child spending their most formative years submerged in such a system cannot but be damaged, especially if the parents are playing the role of ignorant bats like so many muslim families nowadays.
Beyond this, home education [can] offer the only solid way of building a truly connected family. The opportunity for parents to sit with their kids and teach them themselves will build bonds unlike those of the households where everyone leaves at 9, comes home at 5, has a chat at dinner, then disappear into their rooms. Those formative years are special and to give them to others is in my view a bad decision.
Likewise, the belonging that a child [can] feel when they do activities with other kids they see regularly at different activities throughout the week, and meeting the different Aunties who run them, builds an equally strong connected community. Everyone has an incentive to see the group do well, so their kid will have the best experience. The peace of mind it offers parents, that this week I can teach something and next week someone else will, keeps everyone energised and refreshed.
These are just a few of the reasons that people choose to homeschool that I have seen and heard, and doubtless there are other very valid reasons. The [can]s are however the crux of this issue. The possibility is there; however, it entirely depends on your proactivity and effort. I’ll say it again: You get out what you put in. If you were to make no effort to network and organise, as some do, then do not expect anything less than stunted character growth in many areas.
Part 4 : Is This Right For Me Though?
I would love to say that this will always be the right choice and there’s nothing else that can work, but it would be blind of me (and you) to follow that line of thought. There are requirements for a successful home education journey, and trying to proceed without them would be counterproductive.
The first is the existence, or at least potential existence, of a strong community. You cannot achieve the ideal without some semblance of this. Proactive, engaged parents are the key to making this work and without that, the constant headache of trying to get activities organised when there’s no one there will just wear you down. Unless you’re my mum or Aunty Zaida and can will any initiative into existence then beware the burnout.
The second, and I speak personally here, is a child with the right temperament. No matter how much I speak of community and group activities, it’s still called home education, and the home is where the majority of time will be spent. If your child cannot by nature thrive in that environment or needs the action and excitement of all the kids at school, then forcing this upon them won’t work. They must be independent enough to do projects themselves, self-study, and entertain themselves, and be mature enough to play with their siblings, get along with their parents, and explore what interests them. Introverts usually gel the best with this approach as it allows them to grow without being crushed, but the danger of overprotection from parents that stifles growth is real.
The third requirement is a mother who is dedicated and prepared. The truth of the matter is that she is the one who will be driving everything on this journey. She will need to have the want to create the best environment for her children, the adaptability to network with other mums to find the activities that are happening, the initiative to start new ones where she feels confident and the tenacity to balance all that with the day-to-day chores of a household. It’s really a lot, but my mum and the other Aunties around us made it look easy SubhaanAllah. They were the real Super Heroines TabarakAllah and have established the role models for us. So it is possible, but it’s just really hard.
The fourth requirement is a father who is present and supportive. This does not mean a “stay-at-home dad” or anything that drastic. Just someone who keeps up to date with what’s going on with the kids and the activities, someone who could step in when needed to run sessions or help his kid with some work. He takes the time to discuss and help his wife plan what they want to do, creates a network himself and helps out where needed. But he needs to balance this with his work and ensure he doesn’t sacrifice that for the former.
The last requirement I will mention is money. No, home education is not cheap. And if you were still in dreamland about the effort it will take from you, realise it will take from your wallet too. Unlike the free schooling system, everything that you do as a home schooler is paid, from the textbooks and resources you will need to purchase, to the tutors you hire and exams you book, to the activities and classes you organise. Notwithstanding the major group discounts and even specific home schooler discounts you can get on many courses, resources, and activities, you will still be running into paywalls very quickly. This compounds the importance of a father with a stable income in order to support the whole enterprise and emphasises the communication and planning that needs to be undertaken between the spouses in order to keep things running smoothly.
Overall, home education is not for everyone; it requires a special amount of dedication, time, energy, resources and money from both parents and the children in order for it to be successful insha’Allah.
Part 5 : Quick Fire
Let’s try and summarise this with some quick pros and cons:
Pros:
- The freedom to develop. The time is yours, and you have much more of it than the average schooly. Being able to think, oh I like this subject and then exploring it or doing some activity around it is where true learning is found. For instance, when I was young, I got an interest in paper craft to build structures, so I would spend hours drawing the templates and then cutting, folding, and gluing them to build a whole ancient pyramid complex. Sure, it was fun but also taught me design fundamentals and how to work with rulers and measurements.
- Endless possibilities. The sky is really the limit with what you want to do. Learning Shakespeare? Do a behind-the-scenes tour at The Globe. Learning tech? Do a full day robotics course at Imperial College. Learning bio? Attend a workshop at the Royal Institute Labs and extract your DNA. Etc.
- Building a proactive mindset. Children are forced to develop an independent and self-motivating attitude, as it is impossible for them to be engaged all the time. At school, they have every minute of their day planned out, which, in my opinion, severely stunts a child’s cognitive independence and ability to plan their own day and activities, so this forces them to find things to do and entertain themselves in the downtime between activities. This obviously should not become the majority of the child’s time though.
- Protection from Evil. The community is yours to build. Do it with sisters that you know, share resources and houses. Promote good role models and teaching styles that incorporate Islamic elements into your curriculum. Just being around Aunties and Uncles as kid subtly allows them to learn and mature, rather than being surrounded by immature kids.
- Nurturing Islam. Rather than packing them off to Madrassah after an already stressful day at school, you can weave Islamic education into the fabric of their day. Just praying all Salawaat in Jamaa’a as a family is a huge bonus for normalising the practice from a young age. My dad used to pray anywhere when we went out, like under the stairs at a museum, and that really built that awareness in me that you need to pray regardless of the situation Alhamdulillaah. You can start Hifdh and Arabic at a young age and focus on it. Organise group sessions for them and utilise knowledgeable parents to teach if you have them.
Cons:
- Risks of Loneliness, under-development, and Social Awkwardness. It’s a real issue, and the best advice I could give is that you can only give the right environment. Challenge them by sending them out on their own to activities (Me and my brother used to travel 30 mins across London on Friday nights to go climbing when we were around 11). But as I mentioned before, you need to take the child’s temperament into account. If they’re extremely extroverted, holing them up at home will be equally damaging.
- Out of the Loop. Now maybe this was just down to my personality who wasn’t really interested in football or cars, but down the road kids may find that you just don’t connect with most people. This is probably a good thing given what most people are interested in, but it can create a feeling of isolation if one does not have a circle of friends that are from a similar background. Focus on building that community, then, is key to mitigating this.
- Boredom. Yes, a lot of time will be spent not doing anything. It’s not practical to fill up every hour of the week with external activities, especially as you move into years 10 and 11. Building a character who can find things to do and aiding them with home projects and kits can help remove this. And, perhaps more importantly, a method that is often ignored is just quality time with family. Just chatting or playing a game together or going to the park will massively increase bonds while filling time.
- Stressed Households. No doubt, it’s a lot of stress. Not only are you contending with trying to build a network and organising activities, that’s on top of normal day-to-day chores and also kids just being kids and having tantrums. The pressure to keep finding something new to do or trying to get other people to sign up for activities can be demoralising and if there are no people doing it with you, that’s even worse. Trying to build strong connections both inside and outside the house is key.
- High costs. As mentioned before, everything costs. The fees you’ll face when trying to book an exam for one of three maths papers may blow your socks off the first time you see it. But it helps to think smart. Reach out to previous homeschoolers for unneeded textbooks and materials, get groups together for homeschooler discounts on events, and utilise free resources such as YouTube and Khan Academy to help reduce costs.
Conclusion: The Future Need
We need the future generations to be independently minded and able to tackle the issues we face as a minority in the UK with fresh perspectives and invigorated drive. We cannot be satisfied to be net takers, content to work our 9-5s and offering nothing to the community. We need net givers, people who are thinking on a generational wavelength, and with the drive and connections to forge bold new projects. But those people don’t come from nowhere.
Usama bin Zayd didn’t wake up one day and get appointed to lead the army of The Prophet at 18. His mother was Umm Ayman, whom The Prophet (SAWS ) described as “My mother after my mother” and his father was Zayd ibn Haritha, the adopted son of The Prophet (SAWS). Don’t you think there was something special about that home? Don’t you think that mother raised him with a Vision? Don’t you think that father worked to create a conducive environment for him?
It’s up to us to form that Vision for the next generation bi’ithnillaah, and home schooling stands as one of the most established methods of executing it in this age.